Hi Steve - Welcome to heaven. I hope you like the room I made just for you. I've been saving for some time. If there's anything you don't like, please feel free to modify it however you see fit.
Now that you're here, I actually have some competition. Now I know how Bill Gates felt while you were mingling with the mortals. However, I know you will only make me better. Steve, would you consider being on the board of Jesus! Inc. It would be an honor.
I gave my good friend Mitch Albom a call and asked him to amend his book 'the six people you meet in heaven' to include Steve Jobs. Of course, this will require a title change to, 'the seven people you meet in heaven.' I know it's a pain in the butt. But Mitch - seriously - how often do you get to include Steve Jobs in any of your work? Exactly.
I spoke to pope benny of the brotherhood of the priesthood. As soon as I called, Benny was like, "Dude - I am so glad he died. I can finally make him a saint." Already planning to create a statue to place in quad of vatican city?!?! "Don't you think you're putting the cart before the horse? I got dibbs on him. I made him. I inspired him. I brought him home to relieve him of the suffering satan caused. Mine. All mine." From there, it got really ugly... I said, "You know what, Brother Steve was never a member of your secret organization." Kind to think of it, I don't know if he was an official member of mine because he practiced Buddhism. Nah. It's cool. I rubbed the buddha's belly and he's jiggy with that. Mr. Peaceful doesn't like confrontation. Sucker.
Less I digress...
And once again - I provide a special event where a majority of the somewhat industrialized population again realizes the frailty of life and that it should be cherished and lived to the fullest. It'll be another couple months before I pull another rabbit from my hat.
Oh, wait... Hang on... I gotta take a call.... on my godPhone. I think It's Johnny Ive - He wants to ask Steve about the design of his room. Later Gater - Jesus!
So, now that Brother Job is home, I think every single one of us should have a moment of electronic silence to honor Brother Job
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
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