Mr. Fix it

I've been cruising the internet for chicks ideas on how to get back into the G-Zone.  You know, everyone seems to have some kind of self help book or support group to participate in.  I'm not interested in any of that.  Then I started to look at some local therapists.  Everytime I read one of their 'philosophy of treatment' self deprecating essays, I go nuts.  Client centric, life skills, communication, self confidence.  Blahblahblahblah.

Less I digress....

I figure if I am serious about change, I should go to the grand-daddy of all personal scam change artists.  Tony Robbins.  If he's good enough for dignitaries, he is good enough for me.

He thinks he's hot snot with that walking on glowing coal thing?  He ain't seen nothing until I show up the resurrection and walk on water tricks.

Maybe I could teach that punk a thing or to.  It could be a reciprocal relationship or a win-win relationship or, maybe even a sinergistic relationship...

I'll try to work out a magic trade.  He can show me his and I'll show him mine.  Wurd.

Been down in the dumps

Just to let everyone know....  I'm not dead.  I'm severely depressed.  All the changes over the last year have turned my world inside out and upside down.  About three months ago, I crashed.  Withdrew into my cave.  Wished people would leave me alone.  Just let me be.

Suddenly, I find membership in my little club on the decline.  I'm not as relevant today as I was yesterday.  The sun is setting on me and my movement?

I think not.

It is time to grab the bull by the horns.  I think I am going on a personal growth journey.

I'd decided to be twisted

Children - It has been a long time.  My time away has brought me new insights and, to a greater or lesser degree, brought out a really twisted side to my personality.  I started to feel stale and stagnate.  Pope Lavartheus left Jesus, Inc. and stole all the money.  Satan and I - we haven't talked in a while.  I'm feeling a bit lonely and depressed.  When I'm depressed, I start doing strange things....  like this:

It was just a joke.  I revealed myself to Finn on a grilled cheesus sandwich.  Less I digress..

I was sitting around wasted from the Mogen David wine.  And thought, what the hell.  Let's see if anyone sees this...

Sure enough, I'm laying in bed a few days later and I hear a prayer from some guy saying he wants to start a relationship with me because he saw my image on his dog's butthole.

I don't know how to respond.