Shut up, I say, Shut up

What up sheep in the pasture?  I have heard your prayers.  They're giving me a terrible headache.  It's like this constant drone of bees in a hive...  Or, better yet, one of those wind farms...  Have you heard the drone those wind turbines make when the wind is really blowing?  It's almost unbearable...

Less I digress...

I'm sorry Gabby got shot in the brain....  It was very unfortunate that Satan got the best of Jared Loughner...  Dude...  Here's how it goes:  Ready. AIM. Fire. 

Oops.  That was wrong...

Less I digress...

The easy thing to do would have been to just bring her to Heaven, the greatest place on Earth - she opted in after completing her first year in our little club.  Then I thought to myself, man, I can really use this to wag the dog.  And so, our story begins.

Less I digress...

But, I heard your prayers.  All of them....  So....  Here's what the news reported:

Those initial finger squeezes? Yup, that was me.

The reported thumbs up?  Me again.

The lack of swelling in the brain?  You guessed right.

But here is the interesting.  At that point, my intervention stopped.  

Gabby is one tough chick.  One of my finest specimens.  

Giffords - she's the one making conscious movements, adjusting her gown, and, unfortunately touching her own wounds.  I always hated touching my wounds - it was nasty....  The good thing is the doctors have her so drugged up, I don't think she really knows what is happening and hopefully won't remember any of it.

This brings me to another thought.  Gabby and I have a little bit in common....

I was sacrificed for the world in an effort to make it a better place for everyone.  Gabby wasn't sacrificed, but she has been, well, compromised to ease (even if momentarily) the political landscape sprinkled thoroughly with hate that is eclipsing America's democratic system. She is a vessel for my message.

She is a true leader.  She is leading in her silence.  Uniting.  Spreading a love campaign.  As the world is exposed to the frailty of life, the world, if even temporarily, becomes a better place.

I hope Gabby's political allies and adversaries get the picture.  I hope they see the pain in America. I hope they see the outcry for help.  I hope they are motivated to do something to stop the hate, work together and make the world a better place for all.  

Whoever thought I could use one person to make such a mighty statement?  That's my style baby...  Shock and awe...  Shock and awe.   

Let this be a lesson to you all.  It should not take such drastic and horrible events to get you people to wake up and get along.  Have you noticed the world becomes a better place after something traumatic happens?

9-11.  People rallied around America and brother shrub blew that one.  John Lennon - Part of his imagine crusade temporarily saw the light of day.  Ronald Reagan getting shot.  MLK getting shot.  Lady Diana's little wreck.  Hurricane Katrina.  Michael Jackson.  The Gulf Oil Spill..  From evil, good follows.  It's the ebb and flow of the world.  The yin and the yang.  The alfa and the romero.

It's like my resurrection trick.  From evil, something good comes along.  The forgiveness of sin.  A new, shiny you. Yaddayaddayadda.  Chingchangwallawallabingbang.

Maybe I should give Satan a special project list expected completion dates...  Think of me as a project manager....

Back to those completion dates..  Something terrible should happen somewhere between 9 and 16 months?  Somewhere in that window of time the frailty of life needs to be re-visited to help you understand, bring you together.  Love one another just as I said.  It's like a reverse model of intermittent rewards.  Except bad events are the trigger events to motivate the mortals to do something good.

Remember when I said I answer prayers when the situation is most dire because it restores the human condition and brings a sense of hope and wonder to the world?  I prove my point...  Again...  You know what else?  Every time, I'm right. And you know what?  It makes me sad bringing pain to the world to teach you a lesson.  No pain, no gain.   It hurts me more than it hurts you for these terrible things to happen.  I believe in tough love.

Teaching you the same lesson over and over is getting old.  I feel like I'm parenting a bunch of stupid kids making the same stupid mistakes over and over again.  What's it gonna take for this to stick?  A piece of gum?  A drop of superglue?  A post-it note?  Some dried up high-fructose corn syrup?  How about a magnet?  Velcro?  You tell me....  I'm out of ideas.

Love,

Your Father who farts in heaven. - Jesus.   (Just for fun... let's pronounce it "Hey-Suess" for today only)

P.S. - Just so you know...  Gabby's a fighter.  She'll come out of this.  I stake my life on it. - JC