Splendor and Majesty

Faithful Ones - I created the heavens and the earth.  Then I made the sun.  I got tired of only one side of my planet getting baked.  So I made the sun rotate around earth for even baking - a little later Galileo came along with his own little theory...  Anyway - day, night, water, sky, land, vegetation, creatures, go forth and multiple...yaddayaddayadda...

My favorite creations are living creatures; including you.  I made you in my likeness... It must have been one hell of a night when I created the warthog - obviously I was in an altered state.  It's a cross between a horse, a rhinoceros and a hippo.  All it does is eat and fart... 


Less I digress..


Next to the living creatures, my greatest invention would be the splendor and majesty known as nature.  Do you know why I created the mountains, forests, streams and the like?  I was thinking of you and how much you would enjoy frolicking and being with me.  I also wanted something big...  I mean REALLY BIG...  the reason for this was to help you realize the depth of my creative powers...  and to a lesser extent help you realize there are things in the world more significant than you.  I know it is humbling and it awes you..  Next time you're out and about and you are enjoying the site before you, stop, give thanks and praise my name. - Jesus

Haiti Status Update

I am pleased to witness the best of mankind in response to Mother Nature dropping her iPhone resulting in the Haiti earthquake. This was and continues to be one of the biggest tragedies of the year. However, there are good things coming from this little mishap.

Aid, compassion and love are flowing from all corners of the world to lift up our hurting brothers and sisters. People of (almost) every political ideology are uniting for a greater good. To lift those suffering to a better life here on Earth. A new and better Haiti will come of this. Haiti has always been a bit of a wreck. Good things will come of this tragedy.

I am pleased to see Brother Clinton and Brother Bush uniting with chosen one Obama to a good cause. Finally they are able to work together and put their partisan differences aside towards a greater good.

Discussion with Mother Nature.

Faithful followers -

I did get a chance to sit down with Mother Nature.  Apparently, she got rid of her Razr phone and got an iPhone.  Turns out there's an app for that.  It's called quake.  She explains it like this: She was walking down the street and had just downloaded the quake app.  She clicked on Haiti for the country and she bumped into someone causing her to drop her phone.  When the phone hit the ground and bounced, the accelerometer reacted setting off an earthquake in Haiti.  It was simply an accident.

I said, "Gimme that that thing."  I yanked it from her hand, clicked on Haiti and gently shook the phone.  Sure enough, the aftershocks reverberated through the region.  Man, the power in these hand held "smart phones" is amazing.  I can not believe these kinds of toys are available to mere mortals.

We had a good laugh.  Next we sat back, ate some unleavened bread, drank some wine and lit the toke pipe.

These unfortunate occurrences are not intentionally being mean or cruel.  Now that we know how powerful the apps can be, I have asked Mother Nature to wear her phone around her neck at all times.  Hey, I get it - she's tired of spending every waking moment in the office and is now telecommuting to work making use of mobile technology....

Haiti Earthquake

My people - I am going to speak with Mother Nature later today.  I trust her with all things environmental and planet related.  She goes off on a tangent causing an earthquake in Haiti.

My friends, I hear your prayers to lift and restore our brothers and sisters affected by this tragedy.  I gotta tell you, I am upset.  Things were going well with bringing some economic recovery to the region.  My faithful follower, Bill Clinton, has been working hard to bring economic investment to the region.  In case you didn't know, the people of Haiti have a wonderfully developing garmet industry.  In Bill Clinton's heart I planted a seed to lift the Haitians up and spread the wealth.  He felt the desire weighing on his heart and worked met with some titans of industry.  WalMart was about to commit to bringing a sweatshop, I mean factory, to the people to provide economic stimulus.  At any rate, I degress.  Hopefully all is not lost and I am able to plant seeds of compassion and their commitment to the people will not waiver.  I want to see my people rise above the challenge they face.  Become a stronger people.  As the Haitians rise, they will spread the good word about all things being possible with faith in me.

I must go smoke some medicinal marijuana to chill me out before meeting with Mother Nature.  Heaven help her.

Namaste - J