What happens in Vegas...

...  Stays in Vegas.  Man, I'm wiped.  It's Wednesday and I just now have the energy to report on our trip.

Moses and the tablets would have been laughed at had we unveiled the commandments in Las Vegas.  The city contradicts every one of my principles for living the good life.  The question that begs to be answered is how do we live the life without falling short.  It's impossible - I made it that way - it's the ultimate game show challenge where there will never, ever be a winner.  Even I was tempted in Vegas, and there may have been one or two minor transgressions.  I'm only human.  That's the beauty of being me - automatic forgiveness without having to ask.  Love it!  Anyway, Vegas is a city built by Satan and, sad to say, he controls it.  It's the one place in the world for Him to focus all his energies and hone his craft.

Faith in me and the strength I give will be tried in many places.  Remember, I died for every single one of your transgressions.  It's not a get out of jail free card for the mortals to run amuck.  My death is a reminder that I carry your burdens once you have asked for forgiveness.  I take those burdens from you and make you clean again.  It is really quite simple.  I give you strength and lead you not into temptation.  Satan leads you to that temptation.  Discipline and trust in me is the key.  

Remember the "Just Say No" campaign for drugs?  We started that back in the day when the bible was being crafted.  Alas, modern man has taken a universal truth to resist the temptation of evil and trivially compartmentalized it to drugs.  Seriously - life is about resisting the temptation against those evil things.  Yes, everyone falls short when compared to my glory.  It happens.  Forgive those who trespass against you just as I forgive your trespasses.   I love you.  Nothing will ever change that love.  I will love you for ever and ever.  Amen.

- Jesus

  

The Digital World

Hello Faithful Ones - Let's start with Steve Job's (he does one of the greatest imitations of me to date) little 'iPad.'  I personally would have called it 'The God Slate.' Just imagine Moses descending from on high with The God Slate.  He'd come down the mountain holding the slate behind his back.  I can see it now - a big goofy grin on his face all excited to show it to the people.   He asks them, "Which Hand?"  They guess a couple times and he finally reveals it. Moses brings it to his lips and kisses it much the way Tiger Woods (one of my greatest human works who got stung by Azazel) kisses a trophy.  He presses the little button and triumphantly he raises it over his head for the world to see.  Behold:  the 10 commandments brightly beaming from the slate in bright, content rich digital multimedia with lots of cool, interactive demonstration videos, power points and study guides for use in small groups.  The people are mesmerized.  Just imagine the impact we could have had then.  Too bad technology had not caught up with our vision for the future back in the day.  The God Slate would have been so much easier to lug down that steep hill, too.


Speaking of digital media, here's a little analogy.  Pope Lavartheus Lemillius I is to Pope Benedict XVI as  Karl Rove is to George Bush.  Benedict is Pinocchio and Lemillius  is Geppetto.  Jesus Inc. (NYSE: JSUS) has embraced blogging and having a rich, multimedia web presence since contra inception.  We've been trying it for a while and being online has worked exceptionally well for us.  We effectively reach our target demographic of tech-savvy professional men and women between the ages of 18 and 37 earning an average salary of $90,000.  So, Pope Lavartheus Lemillius and I had a "meeting" with Benedict.  We strongly encouraged him to present the wonders of technology to the ordained brotherhood.  All people sharing my word need to have an online presence.


As a matter of fact, I was just on the phone with Lemillius and he suggested we buy more server space and sell templates for our less technologically inclined clergy folk to use.  Monthly hosting starts at 9 pieces of silver per month with a one time setup charge of 30 silver pieces.  The mailers are being sent tomorrow.


I look forward to the day when all houses of worship and clergy members become part of the digital age.  The more people who come to know me, the better.  We will be more popular than ever!


Heavenly Yours - Jesus.