Oh Me Oh My - Hello.... I've found true love!

Oh My Me...  I think I've died and gone to heaven.  Oh, wait...  Anyway, I think I'm in Love and you're never gonna believe with who...  Three guesses and the first two don't count.  I'll give you a hint - Fireworks!  Yeah, I think I've got a huge crush on Katy Perry.  You read right - Katy Perry!  Her videos are so awesome.  Check out the one below....


Katy Perry - Firework | Official Video by Musickoliq

I really enjoy the use of pyrotechnics and whip cream (See California Girls) to create an erotic fantasy wonderland.  She uses her feminine woos with a kinky, wild side.  She get's me going places I never thought I could go.  Serenity Now.  Serenity Now.  I need a cigarette.

Do you think it'd be wrong to break up with Mary Magdalene via today's daily devotional?  "Mary - We've had a lot of fun together, but... I think we... should... see other people."   Yeah, I could go on and on about how it is me and not you.  But, let's face it, any break up is always about the other person.  So, dear Mary - use this as an opportunity to work on yourself.  Get it together.  MMMmkay...  B'Bye.

Now that I got that out of the way...

I could talk about her upbringing with a bible thumping parents wanting to write a book about christian kids gone wild (I personally think a video series would work better).  I could bring up her experience in a JesusCamp.  I could talk about her great awakening (as obvious by her sexual freedom) to a direct relationship with her Daddy, er, I mean me. See she's so free she understands the brotherhood of the priesthood terribly misuses their affiliation with me.  Same with the Modern Woodmen of America and their investment products.  Jose' and JoseB and I never endorsed insurance, investments or any of the portfolio garbage they've been spewing for years.

So all these thoughts about Dear Katy racing through my mind....  Do you know what really turns me on?  The tattoo she has on her left wrist.  She had my name tattoo'd on her wrist so she can see it and be reminded of me while she plays her guitar.  How awesome is that?!?!  I'm feeling some serious love.  Does your lady friend have your name tattoo'd on any part of her body, much less a part that's visible in public?  Exactly.

Another thing so beautiful about Dear Katy is she embraces who she is and our relationship and how all the pieces in the puzzle come together to form something completely pure and beautiful.  She completes me and I complete her.  She gets me.  I get her.  She gets the fact I am not some kind of mean, old tyrant the old testament wants you to think I am.  Remember, the bible was written by man and changed throughout time to take power from the poor and give it to the rich.  Behavior modification.  Aawww.  I get so irritated when I think about how my simple self help guide to successful started out as a 100 page book and has been twisted into this epic work of pure garbage....

Katy and I will be rehearsing a duet to sing at her next concert.  While we haven't made any videos of our rehearsal, I'll offer you the original, from John Denver.  The keeper of love and the environment for an entire generation.  Too bad he crashed his airplane trying to see heaven.  If only he would have signed up for a confidential tour of Heaven, the greatest place on Earth, before taking matters into his own hands.  I miss brother John.

Less I digress....

Here's a video of Perhaps Love:



So...  When you're looking for a relationship with a person of your affection, I hope you find someone pure and true.  Something that makes you feel alive.  Someone who sees the best in you when others don't.  Find someone who loves you as much as I do.  These are the things I wish for you.

Love, Jesus.

PS - Some moron saw me at Jack in the Box earlier today and says, "Yo, Jesse - what up bro?"  I took my milkshake, poured it on his head and walked out.  Idiot.