Charlie Sheen, me, Jewish People. Pt II

Sorry about not getting back to you yesterday.  I got distracted with my own peyote and I was seriously mellowed out.  My apologies.

The Jewish think they are my chosen people.  The mormons.  Club Catlick.  The list list goes on.  There's even one group of people who made a movie called "Jesus in India," trying to say it can be proved my youth was spent there.  You know - that period between 13 and 30...  I was not in India.  Whatever proof people think they have substantiating their claim has been completely fabricated.  They couldn't be further from the truth.  Exactly where does the truth lie?

My story has been changed through the ages it seems to suit whomever wants power wherever they want power.  How else can you explain the King James translation to my self help guide to successful living?  All wrong again.

I'm about to drop the bomb...  Are you ready?  I'm hispanic.  They are my chosen people.  Now what do you think?  Everything changes, doesn't it.  How do I know I'm hispanic?

For starters, Jesus is not originally pronounced Geezus.  It's pronounced HeySuess.  My Father's name was not Joseph.  His name was Jose'.  He had a brother named JoseB (pronounced HoseB.  They were twins.  They worked together in the same woodshop - the three of us made some killer tables, chairs, cabinets, boxes and the like.  We were way ahead of our time.  Those were some good times.  Good times.

Less I digress..  My mother's name was indeed Mary.  Don't you find it odd my Mom and my lady friend have the same name?  I think Freud referred to this as an Oedipus Complex - another devotion for a different day.

We were always big on family.  Why do you think family gatherings on Sunday are a big part of my club? It's a time for family.  A time to rest after a difficult work week and before the new work week begins.  A time of praising me and worshiping me.  A time of fellowship and study.  We break bread and eat together.  Get plastered just to get through another week.

Anyways...  You see, Cortez was looking for the fountain of youth.  Newsflash - I found it and I hid it.  Now we know why I am timeless.  I am the same yesterday as I am today and will be tomorrow.  The alpha and the omega. You could also say I am the alpha and the amiga - I always liked the ladies.

So the Mexicans are my chosen people.  In case you haven't noticed, they are completely taken advantage of by modern society.  They build things, clean things and serve food.  All for a substandard wage because the white man thinks they are above such humble work.  Have you noticed how my people are happy?  Have you noticed the pride they show in their work?  Do you realize nothing would get done without Mexicans?

Do you see how my people are mistreated to this day - just as I was mistreated?  Times haven't changed for my people, but they have for me.  It's good to be king.

Next time I will share with you what I was doing in my 20's.

Adios Amigos - Jesus