I can't believe I missed this. A wiseguy decided to make a mockumentary about me called, "What would Jesus Buy?" What difference does it make? Apparently it makes a huge difference. Why? Because everyone wants to be like me. The brainwashing the brotherhood of the priesthood delivers inspires the mortals to live a Godly life. Whatever. There are so many things the brotherhood is clueless about my life.
Through my real-life writings and devotionals, I hope you have gained insight into me. I'm a dude just like you with two exceptions: I am ruler of the world and I have super-hero whiz kid powers.
Go ahead - Try to live a life like mine. Live life in the fast lane. I got tiger blood flowing through my veins. Adonis DNA. I crack 7 gram rocks during parties. I am the alpha and the omega. Less I digress...
So the question becomes, "What does Jesus buy?"
Well - I have a fetish for perfection and design. Brother Jobe's and I have much in common. His hardware goes great with his software making me an apple man. Duh? Remember Eve's apple - do you think it was an accident she tempted Adam with such luscious fruit? Nope. I always like my women just like my cars - FAST! Even my razor is fast - the Gillette Mach 3. You get the idea.
For my food, I try to go 100% organic. Try is the optimal word. Sometimes there is nothing better than eating a highly processed sugar treat in a plastic wrapper. MMMmmmm.... Ding Dongs are among my favorite. Love the creme filling. That's what she said.... Oops.
Kind to think of it - what difference does it make what I buy. Think for yourselves and draw your own conclusions. Think people. THINK.
And, if you can't think for yourselves there is always mass marketing and media to sway your opinion. Obviously, people want to be like me are easy to manipulate. How else do you explain doing whatever the brotherhood of the priesthood convinces you to do in order to have a relationship with me?
Mindless drones. I didn't create you to mindlessly follow. I created you to dream big dreams. I gave you superior intellect - except for the one's who got the left-overs - like retards, for example. Anyway....
Who cares what I buy. Buy what you want. Please try to be organic, recycled, green and leave a small carbon footprint. All this trash is making it very difficult for me to find an environmental engineer competent enough to manage Project Earth's complex ecosystem.
BTW, Since Mother Nature was fired I've been doing the intern thing to see if the candidates have what it takes to manage Project Earth. Obviously not. On behalf of Jesus! Inc., I would like to apologize for the earthquake and tsunami in Japan.
To quote my good friend Donald Trump, "You're fired." I love calling one of my under performing team members into my conference room and reviewing their performance. I look at them and give them the "You're Fired." line. With my elbow sitting on the table, I rase my forearm. I make a little bird beak with my thumb, pointer and middle fingers and I give a jab while I blurt out "You're fired." It gives the statement a gusto. Makes it more poignant. I love that word. It's hard to spell. Make me look smart. Oh wait, I am smart.
Piece Out Yo - J-Man128.
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