Biker Rally

Geezus - I had such a good time at Bike Week at Daytona earlier this year.  We launched the street team, did a revival, people got saved, I walked on water, yaddayaddayadda....

I decided to take the chopper down to the little biker rally being held in the great state of Texas.  Those people are absolutely nuts.  This wasn't so much of a bike week... more like a weekend of complete debauchery.  Worse than Azazele's rumspringer project for the idiots representing the vatican...

Less I digress...

So, I'm there and I try standing on my motorcycle while riding into the meet.

I thought it'd be really cool to make an entrance.  I fell off, they all laughed at me.  t was all cool until something happened with the throttle and the next thing I know the motorcycle takes off, flying into the crowd of spectators.  While this is happening, I am instantly thrust into the air doing a back flip off my bike.  All of a sudden, the spinning starts, I land on my bum and hear this loud crack.  I broke my tail bone. I tried to laugh it off, but dang...  That hurt.  It took me performing a miracle to even get off the ground.  I gave a wave to the people and bowed down with what little pride I had left while they were laughing at me.  Didn't help matters.

I immediately made my way over to one of the Bandidos and grabbed the joint he was smoking right out of his hand.  Took a monster drag off it.  Inhale.. Hold.... Exhale...  Repeat 2x.  The bandido leader looks at me and laughs.  The next thing I know I am being picked up and carried over their heads like I am a superstar.

They take me over to the center of the crowd.  There was this boxing ring like thing set up.  Midgets were wrestling with eachother.

What a hoot seeing these little people bashing eachother's heads in and pounding eachother.  The headbuts, the jumping, the teasing and talking trash one another.  The crowd is going wild.  I am laughing at the top of my lungs... like a hyena... Because I am stoned.

I'm wondering around in a daze.  I see some guys slamming beers with a bong.  Sign me up.  I'm there.  I partake in the festivities...  The bikers are all laughing and pointing at me.

All of a sudden, I was jolted out of my deep slumber.  Thank me it was just an intense dream.  I look around and I am laying down in a parking lot next to a box.  I push the box over and I look around.  I see the boxing ring where the midget wrestling was taking place.

Oh no....This really happened...  I got a huge headache...  Must be a hangover.  I slowly get orientated to my surrounding and see my bike off in the distance - probably where it landed after it sped off while I was standing on it while riding on it.  Trying to be cool didn't work out too well last night.  I manage to pick up the bike, I sit on it and look in the mirror.

You'll never believe it.  My reflection reveals they shaved my head...  And my eyebrows...  They used a sharpie to draw my eyebrows on.  I also have a mustache drawn on.

How on Earth am I going to explain this?