I suggest you avoid this like the plague

Dear Believers - It has recently come to my attention that a clergyman told one of my dear believers to stop reading because what I do is wrong.  Excuse me?  A clergyman telling one of my children not to read the thoughts and words from the Father? Oh boy...

My child, first off, I am your shepherd.  You are my sheep.  I gave you a brain to think for yourself.  With all my heart, I believe you are free to make your own choices without having to listen to the bad apples in the barrel.  I am most disappointmented in you dear believer.  If you enjoy my work, stand up for yourself and our movement.  Get out from under 'the man's' thumb.

This leads us to another problem.  The brotherhood of the priesthood.  The bad apples in the barrel.  Mr. Clergyman - You're fired.  Leave your robe and collar by the door and never come back.  You are no longer welcome to minister on my behalf.  I will see to it that you never, ever, ever preach in this town again.  In case you forgot, your job is to facilitate the sheep to have a relationship with me.  I forgive people of all their sin and make them shiny and new again.

Obviously, Mr. Clergyman, you are part of the problem and cause people to stray from me.  Just because your ideas don't mesh with mine does not give you the right to 'suggest' people seek guidance and principles for living a successful life from other sources.  I am for you, who can be against you?  Exactly.

So, Mr. Clergyman - take your tortured soul and go elsewhere.  I am sure there is some snake oil salesman who can use your services more than I.  Loser.

Less I digress...

So, dear believer, please know I am waiting for you to again see the light.  Let's work on repairing the damage Mr. Clergyman has done to our relationship.  When your head has cleared, I am waiting with open arms to forgive and love you.  And you know what dear believer?  I know you will sneak a peak.  I am like crack and porn.  You're addicted to me.  I am a habit you can not break.

J-Dawg!