Plastic Surgery - Appearance is EVERYTHING!

Before long, I'm gonna look like Michael Jackson and Heidi Montag.  When I had my make over after the resurrection I changed my look.  I think I took it a little too far.  Now I want to have it corrected.  You know - to tame down the metro look...  What was I thinking?  Apparently I was thinking about scoring with the ladies....  Even I am flawed...  The dumbstick wasn't my smartest move, was it...

Less I digress..

Now I am thinking I should morph into something more like Tom Hanks.  It's a more conservative look.  A little more innocent yet respectable.  Something the way most people look.  Not ultra attractive but not ugly, either.  Just a regular Joe Vs. the Volcano.  Actually, I'm a regular Jesus.

Less I digress again...

This time Oprah and Dr. Oz aren't too interested in helping me out.  They assisted last time because I was gonna do that little interview.  I didn't like the direction the project was going.  The deal is off.  Oprah is not happy right now.   Everyone knows what happens when Oprah gets angry....  For the first time in my life I'm gonna get a firsthand taste of being on the crap side of her stick.  Ew.  Maybe a couple dozen donuts will make amends?

So, I am seeking surgery in India - I hear Dr. Sanjay Gupta is the hookup man.  If I find someone I can trust, I will go under the knife again.  It's all in the name of fame.  My image is one of my most valuable assets.  If it isn't perfect, my market value could be compromised and that would hurt our little club and the company.  Must remain loyal to Jesus! Inc. (NYSE: JSUS) shareholders.

I hope my nose doesn't fall off when all is said and done.

If it does, I know this fantastic carpenter from the old world who could fix me up.  No, I'm not a do it yourselfer...  My guy did work for Pinocchio...

And that, ladies and gentlemen is why they call me "Captain 12 inch!"

Over and Out - Jesus!