ChristFest logistics

Baaaahhh - What up sheep?  I was cruising route 101 in the JEDI machine thinking about my life.  I got more children than any of you - like an entire world full of them....  Musta been gettin' it on back in the day.  Thank me I can heal myself from all those STD's out there.  How would I ever take all of you along with me on a family road trip?  The automakers make all kinds of vehicles to transport groups of people.  Minivans, Suburbans, 15 passenger vans, stretch limos, small busses, big busses, double decker busses, and the like.  Perhaps we could utilize all the aircraft in the world and fly everyone in for the party?  I started to freak out because I don't think it is humanly or divinely possible to make a single vehicle big enough for all of us. 


ChristFest is just around the corner.  How are we all going to get to ChristFest?  A monorail might work.  Everyone could park in a centralized location and take the monorail to my party...  I figure it woud take a couple million trips on the loop.  Logistically, it would be a nightmare to move everyone to and from our party spot.  If Extreme Makeover can build a house in a few days, surely we have time to build a monorail....  Less I digress...


Then I thought we could go global for the party.  I could schedule a resurfacing of the moon and a full moon on the night of the party and shine the sun on it - like a giant disco ball.  The angels would hover the planet and sing song with their angelic voices for all the world to hear - acapella style.  It would be glorious.


As I think about it more, ChristFest is about partying hard - not some kind of celtic woman/man new age wuss fest.  It's about the resurrection of me, the greatest jewish man of all times.  With the angelic chorus, the kids would be missing out on the contemporary music with the hip beat they like to dance to while smoking weed.  I'm gonna stick to the original plan.  


I'm glad I am the ruler of the universe.  For ChristFest I got all the special effects good to go.  The moon as the disco ball, a fog machine is cake and the strobe light will be nonstop lightening - controlling weather is awesome.  Since I am ruler of the world, I control all that stuff on command.  The only elements I am missing are the glow stick and glowing necklace kind of things.  Anyone got any ideas?  The party's  gonna be the shiz.  People will talk about it for like ever.  The annual party for all times!  If things get too out of hand, I'll have to rain on the parade.


Less I digress....


Back to the transportation thing - It's a good thing you come to me instead of vice-versa.  I can't imagine having to bring you to me or with me.  The choice is yours - follow me for your salvation.  Or, be forever lost...  


I'd really like it if we were one big, happy family.  Maybe you guys could carpool or we could set up some kind of convoy like military personnel use - I don't know.  


Whatever, I'm sure the executive staff of JESUS! Inc (NYSE: JSUS) will get it figured out.  They are the best.  No, that's not right.  You are the best.  Never mind, what am I thinking?  I am the best.


Love, Jesus!