This just in... Noah is bringing his petting zoo to the kids section of ChristFest!! Two of every animal will be available in an interactive environment where you can see and touch all of my living creatures. Elephant, camel and pony rides, too! It's gonna be awesome!
For the kids, there are going to be tons of carnival rides and games. Go fish, cross toss (ring toss), skeet ball, etc. Of course, prizes will be awarded - think CFA. For the super duper prizes, we'll have Jesus! action figures, satan plush, baskets, hand carved chairs, etc.
The next thing is gonna blow your minds. Medicinal marijuana available to all. I will be demonstrating my walk-on-water magic show. I'll take volunteers from the audience. All they have to do is believe and they will grace the surface of the water. Video cameras are not permitted to protect me and the performers from injury. The marijuana should greatly enhance the walk on water demonstrations.
I already mentioned the Hard Crock Rock Cafe was going to be at the hub. It is our sit down eatery. Every party is incomplete without having carnival grub. Since this is the biggest party of the year, all the food trailer and cart people want in. So - we will have snow cones in hell, funnel cakes, fajitas, roasted corn on the cob, burgers, dogs and the like. Cotton candy is a must. We're only doing white because it reminds of heaven - you know, the clouds and such.
Face painting will be available too. Kinda like ash-wednesday except we will be coloring the ashes so they kinda look like pixie stick colors. We'll be treating each face with a special adhesive so the ashes don't smudge. I can see it now, people running around the fair grounds with their faces painted with fish, doves, crosses, mangers, silouhettes of me, the holy grail, and all kinds of wonderful symbols. I'm sure participants will be creative. I can't wait to see it.
For those wanting the full JESUS! experience, full body emersion baptisms will be available for those wanting to have an intimate relationship with me. They must agree to lead a godly life, share my teachings with others and uphold all the values and principles in my biography and guide for successful living.
I'm excited for the fire pit, too. The pit will double as a bonfire so people from miles away will be able to see our party going on and hopefully come to know me as their lord and savior. I gotta hand it to Satan, the fire pit thing was his idea... LOVE IT!
Of course, we will also have a story tent where parables from the good book will be shared in an interactive way. Maybe puppet shows or live dramas - whatever people wanna do to come to know me, I'm good with it.
As you can tell, I am VERY excited for ChristFest. Hope to see you there! - JC
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment