Putting the Myths Behind Us.....

Good Afternoon Pilgrims of the world!

I sit here today pondering our future. Not the future of our faith, as I know that Jesus is the ultimate savior. We have to believe that Jesus is the righteous one even though we can't see him in the flesh. This, my pilgrims, has been a huge discussion. Lately the world has been coming up with different jokes that my boss, your savior Jesus Christ is merely a figment of our imaginations or some other type of fictional character.

As your Pope, the supreme human being who is the closest to our savior; I can personally assure you that Jesus is real! We must stick together! Share the words of our one and only global best selling book titled simply "Holy Bible." Here are some common misrepresentations and jokes about his almightiness that I have been hearing:

Jesus was an African American

1. He called everyone brother.
2. He loves Gospel music.
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

Jesus was originally a Californian

1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion. (Yes he did start a new religion, but he did not live in California. If this were the case, he would have been known as "Dude, our most holisest.....")

Jesus was originally a Woman

1. He had to feed a large crowd at a moment's notice when there wasn't enough food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who didn't get it.
3. Even after being dead, the lord had to get up because there was more work to do.

My Pilgrims, we must stay strong in the face of non believers. It is our job as mortals to make sure that his name is never forgotten, or his name is not the butt of jokes as written above. He who laughs will cry at the gates of St. Peters upon their demise from this Earth. And that my pilgrims, will be the ultimate "pie in your face" moment as we are saved. As your leader, I will make sure that we all stay focused on the mission of spreading the Lord's name around the world. Be afraid not of persecution from ignorant non believers, but be afraid of the disappointment from our savior if we shy away from screaming on top of our lungs "JESUS IS AWESOME!"