Spiritual Cruise!

Pilgrims,

Are you ready to hit the high seas? If so, then your savior Jesus Christ and I have come up with a spectacular getaway package to get to know your savior. Jesus Inc. (NYSE: JSUS) will be offering seasonal cruises for the faithful who are willing to part with a material item such as money to get to know our lord.

Cruises will be a total of 40 days and 40 nights. Pets are allowed on this cruise because our Lord Jesus loves everyone and everything! (That rule is being reviewed by our 12 Deciple union local 101) See the below image for our newest cruise liner "The Ark of the Seas." It has a total of 200 staterooms and each one has its own unique blend of history and places to worship. Read our F.A.Q. page below for answers!




F.A.Q'S About Cruise

1. What is the cost of the cruise? The cost of the cruise is approximately 25 pounds of silver, however we will gladly covnert it to the cost of $2,000 USD per pilgrim.
2. Where can I purchase Tickets? Tickets can be purchased at any of our outlying churches worldwide by seeing a local holy travel assistant. Note that our travel assistants help you both physically and spiritually. Also tickets can be made online via Priceline, Expedia, Ebay, and Orbitz
3. When does the cruise set sail? The Ark of the Seas will set sail during the seasons of Easter and Christmas.
4. Where does cruise sail from, and how can we get there? The cruise will set sail from Fort Lauderdale, FL from our Jewish hub. Customers can visit www.pay4pray.com and get special airfare from our partner Spirit Airlines.
5. How safe is the cruise as I am worried about the wood construction? I know you've heard this phrase before, but this ship WILL NEVER SINK! With Jesus on our side, we can overcome any obstacle. Since our creator is sponsoring this cruise, he already knows where ice bergs will be at before they are even frozen. He will also personally ensure that Mother Nature clears the skies enroute so we can have great weather for worship everyday on board.
6. What can I expect to eat while I'm on board? Pilgrims on our cruise can expect a healty diet of communion both whole weat and white and a glass of red wine. Breakfast will consist of our new cereal brand not publicly relased yet, Jesus-O's "For the body cannot live on bread alone!"

Pilgrims, I hope these F.A.Q's have been helpful for you! There is no better way to get to know your lord Jesus Christ than to be on his boat with him and his top leaders! There will be food, music, worship, and a never ending supply of body and blood of his holiness! So hurry up now before tickets are gone! See you in April my pilgrims!
Blessed are those who worship me,
Pope Lavartheus Lemillius I